Hello
My father who is 74 had a triple bypas on 2-1-17 The man that went in to surgery is not the man that came out. Since he woke from surgery he has been with drawn says he has no taste and no smell. He has been in and out of the hospital for his congestive heart failure , pneumonia or most recently a severe urinary infection. He has been living with me since his first heart attack in 2014 three months after my mom passed away who had been living with me for 2 years because of her illness. Since his surgery we tried a rehab nursing home but when i couldnt go see because i was sick amd didnt want him to get it and fibe days later when i was better when i saw him he was worse. He was covered in fecal matter, his bypass bandage had not been changed. His therapy was walking to his door and back once a day. It was a nightmare. I signed the against medical advice and took him home. He was home 6 hours befor i had to call squad for trouble breathing and extreme weakness. Somce then he has been in and out of the hospital 4 times. I have 2 brothers who help with hospital stays as far as taking turns staying at night with him. Three weeks ago was the worst. I called the squad because he couldnt breath the squad took him to hospital with the sorens this time by the time i got in the ER room to see him his eyes were bulging and had blacked out. The doctor actually asked me if we wanted to save him or not, basically wanting to know what he would want. I said save him!! She asked who had his medical power of attorney which i do and is on file with hospital. My father ended up being on life support for 5 days. He was finally taken off 5 days later and had not idea what happened and why he was there. Now since his surgery he has just wanted to sit in his recliner and not get up he doesnt want to walk or exercise he doesnt want to work on his breathing. He says he will and i nag and nag and tell him he is gonna die if he doesnt get up and move. Since his surgery has has lost over 60 pounds because of not eating which has made him extremely weak. For the last 2 weeks it has been a fight for me to get him to eat, drink, or even take his medication. I am so stressed to the point my husbamd is worried of me having a breakdown. I have tried everything I can think of to get him to snap out of it. Trying tough love, threats of taking him to another nursing home, and begging him to move so he wont die while crying my heart out. This is all happening daily while my 9 year old son is aware of everything. Not only is he seeing this but he remembers my mom living with us and slowly dying. Home health comes and physical therapy comes but as soon as thwy leave he totally goes back to not moving hardly drinking and barely eating. I dont know what to do. He can only stand up now with help and cant stand longer then a minute. He cant walk because he is so weak. He is completely depended on my for bed baths, wiping his bottom, medications, meals, changing diaper. All of this with the help of my husband at night and on weekends. My son of course helps me when he can with minor things only. Believe me if not for my husband and son I dont know what I would do. I know I have typed a novel here right now, but I am desperate. I feel like I am drowning with every emotion from heartbreak to anger. I dont know what to do. We have seen so mamy doctors who treat his latest ailment from not moving or eating and tells him he has to move and we just start all over again. So now Home Health care is saying he needs Hospice because he has Failure to Thrive and they cam not do anything more for him if he doesnt want to help himself. I am truly heartbroken and feel like a complete failure as his advocate, as a caregiver but most of all as a daughter. Tears that I hardly cried befor come daily now as I seem him slowly witherimg away. Well I am sorry for this extremely long long tale of my life. Please if you have any suggestions please reply.
Thanks for reading