Asking for General Help | Caregiver Action Network

General Help

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General Help

I just found this group after trying to deal with other groups that were hard to post. Hope this one will be easier. I'm new to this and I am taking care of my 89 year old mom who has been diagnosed with Severe Senior Dementia. Mom is fine during the day, but at night she gets depressed and "Wants to go Home" I do my best to convince her that we live here, but sometimes she dosent belive me. At times she can get a litttle mean. What is the best way to handle this? Also, she is so afraid that I am going to leave her all alone. How do I help her with these fears?

Welcome Bob,
Welcome Bob, Dementia gets common as we get older. You should expect to deal with it. Talk to the Doctor, there are a lot of treatments available. All you can do is to reassure and keep things on a routine so that there is less chance of forgetting things and a sense of stability.
I have to make a couple
I have to make a couple assumptions however not enough information.The wants to go home and fear of being left alone way common in Dementia be grateful she can be a little mean for there are extremes. Try to limit the amount of time she sleeps during the day or at least get it on a routine time and keep it the same every day. In her room where she sleeps use some type of dim light and some slight noise like ceiling fan or simple battery opperated fountain. Light and noise distracts the mind.Hope it helps works for is not perfect nothing is.
Welcome! I would second the idea above about getting your mom on a schedule. There is comfort in a schedule. Another thing you can try is surrounding mom with family photos or other treasured keepsakes. Don't bury her in them just kinda place them around subtly. When someone with dementia becomes worse as the day goes on it's called Sundowner's Syndrome and is common in dementia. I agree: Talk to her Dr. If your mom gets agitated in the evening mayber there's something her Dr. can prescribe that can give her a little peace. Some folks are vehemently against medication. I, however, am not. I'm all for whatever works and if it comes in a bottle so be it. The goal is to keep your mom calm and feeling safe and secure. If she gets more confused as the day goes on don't argue with her. Don't try to convince her that THIS is her home, that she IS safe. Instead, reassure her and comfort her. Arguing is useless because your mom saying that 'this' isn't her home is her reality. That's what she truly believes and imagine how scary it would be for us to want to go home only to have someone tell us, "THIS is your home." Respect her fears and use comfort and reassurances to ease her mind. I'm glad you posted, bob.
I agree that I have to do my
I agree that I have to do my best to keep her calm. But how do I deal with her always asking me to "Take Her Home"? Do I say, we'll see how you feel later or do I do my best to just ingore the request? Thats that hardest part. I huts to see mom so unhappy. Thanks for all your imput. Bob