Burning out from Inside | Caregiver Action Network

Burn out

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Tool
Tool's picture
Burn out

Hello Folks, I'm new here to the community. I'm the sole care provider for my wheelchair bound wife. She was diagnosed with MS in 2012 and quickly went from walking with a cane to being completely wheelchair bound. The last two years have been brutal...seven days a week, no break. I'm physically and emotionally depleted. She is angry and bitter and as her condition worsens so does her mental state and I take the brunt of it. It's tough to find anyone to talk to much less vent without coming across as a complete asshole.

imdana2
imdana2's picture
you need a break!

Are there any people ho could even come sit with her for a few hours once a week just to let you rest?I understand how hard it is.....

IS she eligible fr any day programs that could watch her a few times a week at a facility?

Im so sorry you are going thru this- its so hard

Tool
Tool's picture
Thanks for your feedback
Thanks for your feedback imdana. I wasnt sure how active this forum was...lol. There's several problems in getting her out of the house. First, there's no community center anywhere close to where I live and secondly she is incontinent which is a big draw back in getting her out of the house. Shes used foley catheters with limited succes but if I can convince her to get suprapubic catheter that would make things much easier. Plus getting her ready to go out, getting her into the van etc requires so much effort on my part that dropping off somewhere and picking her up wouldn't be much of a break for me. I wish more people (friends and family) would stop by but sadly they dont. Having someone to interact with besides me always cheers her up and improves her mood. I dont blame them though. Every has their own lives and problems and it's easy to forget how a couple of hours a month may impact someone's life. What I need is to be able to get away for a night once a month. I really feel like I'm having a mental breakdown at times. Between the lack of sleep, bathing her, shaving her legs, trimming toenails and all the bathroom stuff I'm not sure how much longer I can hold up.
tylawhat
Im not exactly sure where you

Im not exactly sure where you live or what state you live in, but i would see if you can get some sort of day program and even if getting her out of the house is difficult, they can come to her and assist. I work in this field along with have my boyfriend. There is a thing called respite and it is exactly for this reason to give caregivers a break. If she can get in to a program that offers some assistance even once a month it would probably elevate some stresses on you and her. I know exactly how hard this is. I hope you can get her in to some sort of program, even if someone came for an hour and just talked with her. I know just different interactions with people can totally change the dinamic with the situation. thats whats happens with my boyfriend when he hasnt interacted with anyone besides me hes miserable. its almost like a dog in a cage. if you keep someone in a cage they are gonna be impatient and miserable. people dont know how important social interactions really are. please feel free to message me to chat or vent!

Tool
Tool's picture
Thanks for the suggestions
Thanks for the suggestions and support. I live in northern Illinois and there aren't many community programs or support groups in the near vicinity. My wife's sleeping pattern is a draw back too...she typically doesnt go to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and sleeps til 2 or three in the afternoon. Getting outside help is frustrating because $$ is tight and my wife is very resistant to having people she doesnt know in the house. Ugh. It's just good for me to be able to vent to someone who understands... Is there a way to message ppl here?
Tool
Tool's picture
Thanks for your feedback
Thanks for your feedback imdana. I wasnt sure how active this forum was...lol. There's several problems in getting her out of the house. First, there's no community center anywhere close to where I live and secondly she is incontinent which is a big draw back in getting her out of the house. Shes used foley catheters with limited succes but if I can convince her to get suprapubic catheter that would make things much easier. Plus getting her ready to go out, getting her into the van etc requires so much effort on my part that dropping off somewhere and picking her up wouldn't be much of a break for me. I wish more people (friends and family) would stop by but sadly they dont. Having someone to interact with besides me always cheers her up and improves her mood. I dont blame them though. Every has their own lives and problems and it's easy to forget how a couple of hours a month may impact someone's life. What I need is to be able to get away for a night once a month. I really feel like I'm having a mental breakdown at times. Between the lack of sleep, bathing her, shaving her legs, trimming toenails and all the bathroom stuff I'm not sure how much longer I can hold up.
imdana2
imdana2's picture
Family meeting time

you need to express what YOU need. And make the family or good friends help. " I need to be able to get away a minimum of once a month- who will be coming to relieve me"? Maybe its only for a n evening once shes in bed. Maybe its all weekend- but you NEED to tell people what you need from them. Good luck

Sparrow
Sparrow's picture
Leg shaving

I know it's such a small thing to say, but I wonder if you are doing too much. Leg shaving is not necessary.  Many cultures do not shave their legs or under their arms ever. I am hoping you can minimize your duties so that you can survive. I also hope that you will do what's best for you, even when she is telling you no... I mean like with the suprapubic catheter.  You mention low finance, and I wonder if you can have your wife's medicare pay for a nurse to help your wife get used to the suprapubic catheter. Last of all please know that if you absolutely are at your own last strength, do not feel guilty moving her to a nursing home/resthome where they care for her physically and you can visit her for companionship and not kill yourself with the load you have been carrying.  -Sparrow. PS I saw you on another page first, so I already asked you for your update since 6 months have past. You can respond here or there. Thank you!

sue77833
sue77833's picture
Dear Friend,

Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Sue Saunders from Netherlands, I am a widow and an orphan, I lost my husband 5 years ago, before then I was diagnosed with 

cancer, the reason why I am here on this wonderful site is because I want to see how best I can touch lives positively.

Life is too short so no matter what you have, as long as its material things ,its all vanity and you cant take it along when its time for you to 

go, the most important thing is live a good life.

Before my husband died he he worked as one of the chief engineer in one of the biggest gold and diamond mine in Liberia , the reason why I am 

saying all this is because my doctor says I have very limited time so please I want you to know that this message to you is not just a blessing 

to you but your family and most importantly to help realize the dream me and my late husband failed to bring to light, which is to help the 

needy and less privileged , my late husband left behind 8.3 million USD.

The reason why I am saying this is because I have decided to choose you as my next of kin, and I want you to use those funds for the following 

reasons.

1 donate to the orphanage homes 2. Help the less privilege 3 help the widows and widower 4. Help children who have lost their parents during this Corona virus crisis.

If we don't do this the bank top officials will share the money among themselves once I am gone because they know I am a widow and an orphan, 

but that will only happen if I don't present someone as my next of kin, they will use that opportunity to divide and miss use my husband's hard 

earned money.

Please kindly contact me on my private email ( heartofsue@gmail.com , i will explain more for you to really understand and be 

assured that what you are doing is 100% legal and also to confirm to you that i am in my sane mind when i wrote this message,

I am sorry I have to stop here because I am getting weak, this is the longest message I have wrote in a while now, stay blessed

 

Tool
Tool's picture
I suppose I should be more
I suppose I should be more vocal about what I need. The main obstacle I face getting away for a cpl days is that she cant use the bathroom and needs to use a portable toilet in the living room. She is very opposed to having someone help her do all that bathroom stuff besides me. If I had the money I'd pay a trained nurse that knew how to use a hoyer lift to come in once a month for a weekend. Maybe start playing the lotto?
Frustrated
Frustrated's picture
Not understanding?

If your funds can't pay for Homecare or anyone to come in daily, there is a program that my family used for my Mom when we could no longer care for her.

It's called Medicaid..  Where you can have someone come in daily and pay them a hourly rate, or will pay for nursing home care which is where my Mom ended up for nearly 5 years.  Yes, there is a cap on the allowable assets the person can own (rightfully so).

Not sure why if you're thinking about lotto to care for your wife and so stressed out why this wouldn't have been already been pursued?

BTW- my wife had a stroke 2 yrs ago and I'm her primary caregiver but luckily for us, my 24X7 focus on her doing home PT has keep her out of a nursing home.  I can relate to giving up your life for a spouse of family member, but if it gets too extreme start looking at Medicaid, like my Mom, your wife likely might have  preferred it rather than your misery.

I retired early to become a caregiver for my wife, what I miss the most is a clear minded conversation with another person who understands what we go through.  I worked hard my whole life and saved for our never will be seen retirement, so now she will not qualify for Medicaid due to the 'assets' restrictions.

Good luck!

 

 

imdana2
imdana2's picture
others

anyone can be trained to use that hoyer lift and she needs to understand you NEED time away from her to be a positive and helpful caregiver- YOU need to tell others what your needs are ! good luck

Tool
Tool's picture
Thanks!
Thanks!
Jennifer long
Jennifer long's picture
Sole care provider

I feel so bad for both of.you. Your poor wife didn't ask to be sick. I know I would be really hard to deal with if I had to deal with MS.im going to keep you both in my prayers. It must be so hard on you to see her like this. I'm sure she.truley appreciates what you do for her. I know how frustrating being a caregiver can be. My 87 year old mom moved in with me last May. Do you have a friend or does she have someone who could come over so you can get out for a few hours? I have to get away from my mom she drives me nuts sometimes. I hope you figure something out. Jennifer

jitterbugz
jitterbugz's picture
hi neighbor

Hi. I am Jill from Southern Illinois and taking care of two adult sons. One is in a wheelchair and the other is schizophrenic. I am also looking for programs and resources in Illinois and totally understand exhaustion. Nice to meet you!