Exhausted and underappreciated | Caregiver Action Network

Exhausted and underappreciated

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Exhausted and underappreciated

I feel the same way. Underappreciated and always criticized, ostracized and belittled for caring for my grandma who expects me to wait on her hand and foot with no help from the family and only judgement. I was only supposed to move in to give her company and then she had a stroke and I end up caring for her. I didn't mind until it was not appreciated. It was so hard and exhausting in the beginning I was working full time and I would wake up every 30 mins to assist her to go to the restroom. I would try to go to bed but I would be so nervous she would call me right when I fall asleep. I would feel like she would make herself go to the restroom on purpose because she would chug a bunch of juice on purpose and quit taking her pee control medication. I was promised by my family that it wouldn't be on me and they would help. That was not the case...they stopped helping and come over to just visit and judge me to tell me I need to do this more and do this. My grandma friend would be so helpful and instigated and all of my time was serving her hand and foot and i didn't have time to clean or mow but she would whisper in my grandma ear that i need to water the plants, which is big, everyday. Her other grandchildren were there but I was the one that was gained up on while it was laugh and giggles with them. They are always telling me to do more when I am doing a lot and so tired. My grandma even said I am the reason she falls because she ask me to these extra things and I said I will do it later and she wants it done so she wants to get up and do it herself and she could fall and I was being accused of elder abuse. After a while, she was able to do stuff on her own and be al alone for a few hours so she wanted to go back to her pee medicine and stop drinking liquids after 4 so she doesn't have to go to the restroom but only once. She likes to twist the story. For example, she asks me to do something and gets my family mad at me for doing it not telling them she asked me to do it. A lot of her complaining are false and leads to false accusations of elder abuse. I try to get her to do her exercises and she tells at me saying she doesn't have to and she tells my family that she doesn't get her exercises in because I refuse to help her. Recently, even though she improved, it has been decided without asking me or my knowledge that I have to ask permission to leave and can't leave her alone even though it was okay when she was in a worse condition. They refuse to stay with her even they though they think she needs 24/7 care. This feeling like I am in a prison has giving me anxiety where I can't even breathe

first time posting here

I need just talk to someone please because I am so tired of doing the same thing everyday. My conversations involve what do you need? Are you okay? My writing is not happening because I am falling in my black hole and just to see why I should live.

do it all...

My father has Parkenson's...my mom and I are his caregivers...she is not well herself and I am bipolar with panic disorder...because of this illness we live in an unhappy home....no peace...he is a terrible communicator and doesn't even try to get better or do his physical exercises...I am so depressed and angry most days...my sister lives in Long Island and has been away since March cause of the pandemic...she is afraid to come here and get my parents sick...I am feeling like I have to do everything..I clean and do laundry and take care of dad...sometimes mom too ( bad back)  I do not get to sit outside and lounge or go for walks or even shower everyday like my sister...I find myself getting very angry and jealous...she doesn't have this kind of life that others depend on her...she is married and does what she wants when she pleases...my mom spoils her...she expects alot from me...some days like yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore..I had a panic attack for like 10 minutes..I am 51...too young to be taking care of anyone but me...I have asked mom to get therapists in here for him...she tells me she forgets to call, or is afraid they will bring the virus in the house and get us sick...well, thanks for listening, just telling all this makes me feel a release  Peace to all.  .