My Dad’s 87 and I don’t know how long I can do this | Caregiver Action Network

My Dad’s 87 and I don’t know how long I can do this

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LostAKgrl
My Dad’s 87 and I don’t know how long I can do this

I'm 42 and been caring for my dad since 2010 after my toxic mother died of cancer. I've had depression from teenage years on and tried medications that just shut me down too much. I've always been the caregiver to everyone in my life, always more concerned with them vs me, I guess because the me is so messed up. But now the stupid virus going around doesn't even allow me to be out and away from him and I'm internalizing everything more. Including the fear..of doing this for ten more years, five more years, two more months!! But worse is the fear of dying before him and leaving him without the motivation to live anymore, which is ridiculous. I truly believe and actually have been told by doctors etc that he wouldn't be here now if not for me. But I don't want to die knowing that my work isn't done; it's the fear of being a restless soul and not dying in peace. No I'm not ill, but who the hell actually knows that for sure these days?