Overwhelmed | Caregiver Action Network


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Several of the topics here apply to my situation but you're only allowed to choose one. I am 46 today. Spent some of today trying to convince my mother who is 81, to let me give her a shower. She does not like showering/bathing, never has. She still thinks she can do most things on her own but she can't. She does have mental health issues. I have been working from home more often to tend to her; laundry, cooking, bathing, medical appointments..etc. I did this all before when she was sick with cancer and i brought her to live with me. She went into remission thankfully. She went back home but hurt herself in the shower and ended up back with me where i am doing it all again. Before my mother got hurt and ended up back staying with me again, i had adopted an elderly, special needs dog (my little lady bug and saving grace). I am usually the caretaker and the one who handles everything but for some reason, i am really struggling with this. I am trying to hang in there. I have been doing lots of meditation, tai chi and working out but i am so mentally drained. I cry more. I am very depressed and i isolate in my room. I try to keep all this to myself as not to burden anyone because everyone has their own issues in life. I feel like a piece of shit for not having the capacity anymore to take care of my mother. My mom and i have never been close but she still deserves the best care. My sister recommended a living facility but i know how those places can be so i feel stuck right now. My mom needs more than what I can give her

You're story is touching,

You're story is touching, because of the genuine nature in which you portrayed your feelings.  Although our situations are not alike, I understand your frustrations.  My mother in law is suffering from dimentia, and we live in her home so my spouse can care for her on a full-time basis.  Although I am proud of what she has decided to do, I can't help but feel like we are spending our whole lives in this sacrifice, and we will never be free from the obligation.  Then, I feel selfish for feeling that way.  It's horrible.