Overwhelmed and Depressed | Caregiver Action Network


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Several of the topics here apply to my situation but you're only allowed to choose one. I am 46 today. Spent some of today trying to convince my mother who is 81, to let me give her a shower. She does not like showering/bathing, never has. She still thinks she can do most things on her own but she can't. She does have mental health issues. I have been working from home more often to tend to her; laundry, cooking, bathing, medical appointments..etc. I did this all before when she was sick with cancer and i brought her to live with me. She went into remission thankfully. She went back home but hurt herself in the shower and ended up back with me where i am doing it all again. Before my mother got hurt and ended up back staying with me again, i had adopted an elderly, special needs dog (my little lady bug and saving grace). I am usually the caretaker and the one who handles everything but for some reason, i am really struggling with this. I am trying to hang in there. I have been doing lots of meditation, tai chi and working out but i am so mentally drained. I cry more. I am very depressed and i isolate in my room. I try to keep all this to myself as not to burden anyone because everyone has their own issues in life. I feel like a piece of shit for not having the capacity anymore to take care of my mother. My mom and i have never been close but she still deserves the best care. My sister recommended a living facility but i know how those places can be so i feel stuck right now. My mom needs more than what I can give her

You're story is touching,

You're story is touching, because of the genuine nature in which you portrayed your feelings.  Although our situations are not alike, I understand your frustrations.  My mother in law is suffering from dimentia, and we live in her home so my spouse can care for her on a full-time basis.  Although I am proud of what she has decided to do, I can't help but feel like we are spending our whole lives in this sacrifice, and we will never be free from the obligation.  Then, I feel selfish for feeling that way.  It's horrible.

@ ycarter12 connections

@ ycarter12 connections puzzle The narrative evokes a poignant response due to the sincere manner in which the author conveys their emotions.  While acknowledging the dissimilarities in our respective circumstances, I empathize with your feelings of dissatisfaction.  My mother-in-law is currently experiencing symptoms of dementia, and as a result, my spouse and I have chosen to reside in her residence in order to provide full-time care for her. 

Mom and me never got along either

Your story resonated with me too. My mother admitted after my father died that all she ever felt toward me was jealousy, because of how much my father loved me when I was born. She basically gave me to my older (9 year old) sister to take care of and only ever treated me like a rival for my Dad's attention. She was a horrible mother, and now I'm stuck in the house with her (she's 90 now) because I, myself, have mobility issues and I have nowhere else to live or really go. My older sister is dead, and my younger sister is consumed with her own life and family. She considers herself lucky because I can work remotely and keep Mom from burning the house down. I alternate between wanting to end my own life and wishing somebody would hurry up and end hers. At 90, she's on overtime, but she could live to be 105, and I'd be stuck here with her, hating her guts



 "I alternate between wanting to end my own life and wishing somebody would hurry up and end hers."
I relate to this a lot. Been my mom's caregiver for ten years and it's been so difficult since she's been physically nurturing but emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember. Caregiver burnout and depression hit me especially hard this year and I'm having a hard time feeling hopeful and optimistic about my future. Spending most of 20's as a caregiver and now spending my early 30's as one makes me feel like I will never have a life of my own.
While our circumstances may

While our circumstances may differ, I empathize with your frustrations.

@heardle 80s

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@dinosaur game A daily

@dinosaur game A daily relaxation or meditation practice can help you relieve stress and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation. Even a few minutes in the middle of an overwhelming day can help you feel more centered. 


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