I just joined. My dad was diagnosed 2 years ago with dimentia. I've been living with him for 6 years since mom died. We stayed so he wouldn't be alone. About 2 years ago we noticed the forgetfulness and aggression. That's when the diagnosis came. 2 months ago I developed panic/anxiety attacks to the point of not being able to drive. I reached out to my siblings for help and all I got was grief. Good news is I got the treatments I needed and I'm better. I realized that I never stopped being a caretaker after mom died. I moved into my parents house with my family to help take care of her. She died of ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease. After her diagnosis, she only lived for 5 months. So in total I've been a caretaker for 6 years non stop. The only help I have received is from my wonderful husband and our amazing 18-year old son . And of course praying for courage and strength.
If I've learned anything, make sure you have a strong support system. Sometimes siblings are not an option for whatever reason. In my case they truly didn't want to help. I've always been here and in there minds, as long as I'm here, everything is taken care of. Besides my husband and son, I have a group of friends and a cousin who are always there for me. Also, take time for you. And if you do develope anxieties and panic attacks, get help. There are so many people that need you. Especially the one you are taking care of. They have nobody else to defend them. And let me just say, my father is extremely grateful that we've been here this long and are going to stay until the end. I hope you will find the courage and strength that you all need in taken care of your loved one. Reach out when you need to and take time for yourself. Recharge your "batteries". It is overwhelming, but you got this!