I am new...and I need help. | Caregiver Action Network

I am new...and I need help.

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I am new...and I need help.

(sighs). Here we go. I am 50 years old and live with my 85 year old dad. He has been suffering with memory loss issues for about the last 5 years.

It's incredibly frustrating. I can't handle his forgetfulness. He keeps asking the same stuff OVER AND OVER again. He gets incredibly attached when I even leave for the store. He doesn't remember watching shows we have watched together.

I get SO DAMN ANGRY. I lose my mind because I know I am right when it comes to his care, his life and everything involved with him.

I don't know what to do. Please give me something to hang on to.


Jessica May Tang
Jessica May Tang's picture
Hi JB, I'm so sorry you're

Hi JB, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wonder if your dad is showing signs of dementia? Maybe taking him to a doctor to see if there's anything to help him can alleviate some stress. Just knowing someone has your back is very helpful. And you're definitely not the only one who has felt this way - it's very common. I know you know he's not doing anything on purpose to irritate you or make you upset. To me, it seems that he's showing signs of anxiety due to memory loss. Memory loss can be very disorienting and frankly, quite scary. Imagine going to the grocery store, wandering off, and then not even knowing how you got there in the first place and where you're supposed to be or what you're supposed to do. Maybe leaving him a note when you leave for the store can help? What helps is also to detach your thoughts and emotions from the things he asks repeatedly - it's easy to get frustrated, but if you detached yourself from the meaning behind his question and just answer as many times as it needs to while feeling neutral about it, it can help lower stress. This is what's worked for me and my family at least, and I hope it helps you! Let me know if you have any other questions - I'm happy to help and give tips! You're not alone!