Seeking advice from other caregivers with Durable POA that's been there and done it? | Caregiver Action Network

Seeking advice from other caregivers with Durable POA that's been there and done it?

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Seeking advice from other caregivers with Durable POA that's been there and done it?

I'm running across many issues that I need advice?
I'm a Caregiver for my Aunt that's 88 yrs old.Not only am I her Caregiver.I'm also,her Durable Power of Attorney"Attorney in fact".
I am "Both"!
I am her caregiver and I am her DPOA for healthcare and financials.
About my Aunt,
My Aunt's 88 and lives alone in her own home.She shows many signs of Dementia.As forgetting names,confused,paying bills,ect.
She uses a walker to get around.She still drives her car but,very scarry the thought of her driving.
Everything boils down to is she compatent or incompatent.That's where the tricky twist of laws comes in to play.The rule of thumb of compatent/incompatent involves being told by a doctor incompatent.A person can be diagnosed by a doctor for Dementia and still be compatent.Until told by a doctor otherwise.Or prescribed medications for dementia.That's where my Aunt stands today.She has dementia but not prescribed medications for dementia.This means she's 100 % legally compatent.
My Aunt has many issues with her living conditions and her thinking of things.She places news papers on the floor near her bed so she can Urine on.Because,she has problems making it to the bathroom in time.Her home smells of Urine.She refuses to buy a bed pan or a tolet chair to make things easier for her.She refuses to spend a dime of her money for needs she requires.I don't have the money to spend on her.She has the money but,refuses to do so.She's not on Medicaid.She has Medicare part B.She demades to live alone in her own home.I tell her in order for her to stay living in her home alone.Is gonna start requiring her to buy things for this to keep going on.She refuses to buy a thing for her needs!.She saved all this money for her retirement.But,refuses to spend a dime at 88 yrs old.I tell her,If there was ever a time to start spending some of your money on your needs is now.By her actions of refusing is making me look like a bad caregiver.
I ran into many issues with this DPOA I have.It's costing me over $160 per month just on gas to go care for my Aunt.Because,I'm her DPOA I can't get reinburst for my gas cost?Because,I'm her DPOA I can't be hired/paid for my caregiver services I do for her?Unfare this DPOA is I found.Not only that?
I found that I can't have access to online banking at Chase Bank.
My Aunt's account is at Chase Bank.I'm her Durable POA.When I first gave this POA to the bank.The manager told me I now have full access to my Aunt's accounts.I said,great!
Now I find that I can't have access to online banking?What's this?This isn't right!
IMy Aunt gets confused on paying her bills.She writes checks to pay bills.She loses her checkbook all the time.I want to be able to go online to keep track of her spending ,Balunce & transactions.I want to setup her bills so they are automatically paid as auto bill pay so she don't have nomore worries about paying bills.I was denied online banking from Chase.Chase tells me POAs are not allowed to have access to online banking .That isn't right to me!.I'm her DPOA.It's my job to manage her funds.
If I was Joint on her account I wouldn't have this issue.But,POAs aren't allowed to be joint they say.It cost me gas just to drive to her bank to get a bank statement.By right's I should be able to simply go online to do this.
I feel this DPOA is in my way of doing anything to help my Aunt or to help me do my job as caregiver.I wonder if I need to have this DPOA removed?
My Aunt refuses to spend a dime.I'm her DPOA but,I can't simple use her funds to buy a bed pan for her without her permission?I see no use for this POA.The only advice I seem to get about these issues is talk to her attorney that made this POA.Well I did that with no luck or help.All the attorney says to do is go for Guardenship.That to me sounds to extream to just get a bed pan!

Any advice please?

First, are you designated as
First, are you designated as the Social Security representative payee for your aunt's SS money? If not, you need to be as SSA does not recognize POA. You will probably be put in charge of her check. BTW, the check would need to go into a bank account only you would draw off of. Take the original Healthcare POA down to your local SS office for them to copy & put in Auntie's Medicare file. W/o that POA on file, Medicare will not speak to you. Take your DPOA down to the president/ mAnager of Auntie's bank. Explain the situation & see if they will give you access to her acct under the circumstances. You may want to retain a different lawyer who specializes in Elder Care. He can help you to attain these goals. Last, should you have an iPhone or better, turn on the recorder, & ask Auntie about the paper on the bedroom floor and/or other oddities. Take pics of the newspaper. My sister-in-law has mental health problems. When we went to the psychiatrist, he said he could find nothing wrong as SIL exhibited no symptoms. I made my case by playing a recording of an outburst she had the previous evening. Hope this helps. Keep posting.
You CAN have and be diagnosed
You CAN have and be diagnosed with dementia without meds for dementia.