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Doing my best ain’t enough...

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Wed, 01/08/2020 - 06:52
#1
LostChild...
Doing my best ain’t enough...

I found this site by accident this morning, yet maybe it's not an accident...  I am literally stressed to my limits, and feel like giving up. Nothing I do anymore is enough, and it seems the harder I try the worse things get!  And, (like I need to add something else to this!) I just lost my temper with my dad and argued with him even though I am well aware that he has dementia and behaviors that are more suited to a child than my 77 year old dad. So now I feel awful, guilty, and like an arse!  so yeah I'm looking for support. For people who understand what I'm dealing with, who won't think I'm horrible when I vent, for people who keep on when it's hard.  I apoligize for this scattered post, I'm just scattered myself this morning and feeling really alone and sad.

 

 

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Fri, 01/10/2020 - 11:36
Tool
Tool's picture
Vent away
LostChild, I know exactly what you're going through. Although my wife doesnt have dementia the way she behaves sometimes almost makes me wonder if she does. I've argued with her, yelled at her and lost my temper with her so many times that I am ashamed to admit it. Each time it happens I vow to behave in a more loving fashion but I end up disappointed myself over and over. I think that a lot of it just is a result from physical and emotional fatigue. It's hard enough doing everything that a caregiver is expected to provide. Toss a ill-tempered patient (loved one) in the mix and all hell breaks loose.
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Sun, 01/24/2021 - 20:50
Jennifer long
Jennifer long's picture
New on site

I argue with my 87 year old mom. It's so hard not to engage I'm 64 but she treats me like I'm 5. I totally get how you feel. I try and get out of the house 2 times a week for a few hours. I also live with my son who is an Iraqi Vet. Came back from the war a different man. But he watches for her safety. I am blessed to have his help. I started counseling it really helps. Jennifer

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Mon, 08/30/2021 - 14:08
jberryco
I lose it with my husband,
I lose it with my husband, then feel guilty. All I can say is hang in there. Take time for yourself even if it is only 30 minutes at a time. I now just try and walk away when he is being unreasonable, it does not always work. Know you are not alone and it is okay to be frustrated, angry and even cry. I find talking to my daughter( a truly wonderful human being) really helps. Just being able to vent can be cathartic.
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