Hi, Reaching out for support | Caregiver Action Network

New caregiver here

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New caregiver here


Reaching out for support because I've been a caregiver for the last 10 years, or so.

Ebbs and flows, but now is a worse time because my wife is in a decline. 

She has MS for roughly 20 years. Very bad flare up about 10 years ago (long story) that made her situation very bad. Was getting better but through various circumstances, went into a decline. She is now rebuilding her strength and her abilities, but until that happens, she needs me more than before.

So I’m slowly burning out. Just want a place to talk and vent. Because I know it’s not her fault. 


Mainely Rick
Burn out

I noticed your not-so-recent comments on the Caregiver Action Network discussion site. Yes, I hear you. Caregiving for someone with progressive MS has challenges. My wife has secondary progressive MS and has had a rough summer. Me too!

How are you doing now? Still thinking you are burning out? I feel that was sometimes, too. Caregiving is almost a 24/7 job sometimes.

Rick in Maine

One day at a time

When I start to feel overwhelmed with the enormity of the tasks of caring for my spouse with secondary progressive MS, I try to "stay in my lane" meaning to slow down and not get ahead of myself mentally. I often rush my thoughts ahead of the task at hand instead of taking them one at a time.  This way tends to settle me down and makes for  more even-keeled caregiving experience for me and my wife. I want to be less anxious when my wife gets OCD with me. I just want to be able to say "yes dear" ungrudgingly and keep the mood light between us in our home since I don't get out of the house until the early afternoon for shopping and doing errands. My normal habit is to be out of the house at the crack of dawn, so this has been quite an adjustment for me. Taking every little or big task at hand and focusing on it has allowed me to settle down tremendously. Not getting ahead of yourself will allow you to stay in the moment and keep your mind in your body instead of "out there" .

Mainely Rick
That's good

Thanks for your response. I think we are both trying to be in the best place...the present. I like what you said. As I try to improve it, the inevitable best place for me is right here and now. You said it well. Slow down. Settle down. Focus.

I'm doing pretty good for right now. It's quiet. Debbie's in bed. I'm getting caught up with computer stuff then I'll switch to a few fun things before hitting the sack.