Hello,
Im new to the site and im not sure exactly what i should say here. I am here because my boy friend has a traumatic brain injury and i am having a really hard time. I am in therapy right now as well but I just don't know what to do any more. My boyfriend has isolated him self and has a self destructive personality. If things do not go his way he will destroy things and throw fits. He doesn't take any responsibility for anything. He gets services through the state of New Hampshire but because of how he acts towards people most people do not want to help him let alone be around him. I am the only one who is there for him and actually understands. I Put up with a lot and i am at a loss for something to help him right now. I wanted to find a support group for him for his TBI and a support group for my self to talk to other spouses/partners but i am having a really hard time. This is my last hope for help for me and for him please does any one have any ideas or suggestions??? we live in New Hampshire. Thank you Tyler ( not that this needs to be said but i am a female, just so no one gets confused.)
HI TYler- is he in therapy at all? My guy is doing same. Hes only 6 months post TBI and stroke. I have been told that the 'anger' part s usually about 6 months in as they being to realize they need to accept their new brain. So hard.
Does he live with you ? Does he have any friends who can just 'check in' wth him? I hve found that helps with my guy- I literally have t beg his friends but he doesnt know nd he feels s good after that call/visit that they 'still care'.
Not sure where n NH you are (im outside of Boston) but Spaulding rehab in Charestown MA has an amazing monthly support group for survivors AND caregivers-(first Saturday of each month and its FREE) Ive only been twice but its helpful to see others going thru same.
Hang in there-Dana
He doesn't have any friend really. The ones he does I always have to reach out to them. He had a bad habit of non stop talking so he tends to like push people away or annoy them. It sucks to say but because he looks normal and he's attractive people forget he has a brain injury. He's not in therapy at all and I have tried to get him to go but he refuses. He gets services through the state but they were neglecting him. He finally yesterday got a day staff to help him during the day. His biggest issues are anger, being alone and suicidal thoughts. I have had to call 911 on him multiple times. We lived together for 3 years. It got to be too much for me and we had a huge blow out fight and I moved out. I see him ever day and I sleep over sometimes because he begs and begs. I'm just so lost cuz I am the only one he communicates with up until yesterday. He actually likes this day staff thank god so hopefully this one will work out. But sometime do feel like he's a lost cause. Other times I love him so much. I'm in therapy about this but I dunno what else to do. I would have to trick him to get him to any time of meeting. I'm at a loss.
Yah its super difficult. He doesnt let me have time to my self. his problems are always the end of the world and i have to save him. I am going crazy. I am in therapy so it is helping but it only helps while im talking to my therapist. I cant ever catch a break i do everything for him and i work to jobs and one i work with adults with mental illness ( which he actually got me started in this field) and then my other job is working at a hospital. Plus, my parents are elderly. I feel lost and i dont know what to do. I had to block him this morning from contacting me because he kept threatening me. Now, im worried that hes gonna hurt him self cuz he cant contact me. I am also worried about the new cat he has. i just dont want something to happen to her either. Im just so worried all the time. i hate it. i feel like there is no solution. I am also scared that it might get to a point where i might get hurt. but i do love him. but he makes everything so hard. his new things is saying hes really really hungry and then refusing to eat if there is food around. he says hes doing it on purpose and yesterday he almost passed out cuz he waited so long to eat. IM so lost and i dont know what to do anymore. i need help really bad. I have also talked to a few people about this like what steps i can take to like help him and make both our lives better but since he is his own gaurdian theres not a whole lot i or anyone can do. It just makes me so sad to think that he is all alone and he cant talk to anyone and that he might hurt him self. i have called 911 on him a bunch of times for him saying he was going to kill himself.
Hi Tool,
Did your step daughter agree to give you respite time? Is it ongoing monthly? I admire your commitment and your reaching out to encourage others. How are you doing? -Sparrow
Hi Sparrow, I don't check in on this site because there doesn't seem to be much activity. I joined a couple FB support groups instead ...the Caregiver Space Community and The Other Side of MS.
Thanks for checking in with me. To answer your question...no, I have not been able to get my step daughter or anyone else to give me a break. And no with this whole Covid19 mess, who knows when I'll be able to break away. I've had a few melt downs but overall still functioning lol
How are things going with you?
Dear Tyler,
My heart has gone out to you. I see it's been 6 months already. (I joined this community today) How are you doing now?
-Sparrow