Its been a while since I posted anything, I see there have been a lot of changes! A lot has happened here too. Its finally happening. MIL is going into a nursing home this week. We just had no other choice. There is no one willing or able to look after her and we are going to have to spend several weeks away from home when our son has his surgery in a few weeks. She said she is OK with it as long as its temporary. We have told her we will bring her home when we can, but I don't think she understands that it will probably be at least a couple of months, if not longer. We have told her that but when I got her bag out for her to start packing she said "should I pack for a week or just 3 or 4 days?" I told her no, it would be for at least a few weeks to a few months. We just have no idea right now. Dh and I have NOT told her that if it works out well, we may make it permanent. If things go well with our son, and she really hates the nursing home, we will plan to bring her back home, but if not, or if she decides she likes living there, we'll just let her stay there. We don't know what day for sure this week but since we are going to be out of town all of next week it has to be this week. They told us it will probably be later in the week but it will be this week. All of the paper work is signed, they just need to see her bank statement and get her files from her doctor. She still thinks she could live alone. But seeing as she can't even use the toilet by herself....well, its just not reality. This is harder than I thought it would be for me. I was up late last night thinking about how strange it will be not to have her in the house. It will certainly change things around here. I am so hoping they will take good care of her and that she will like it there. I am afraid she will just be depressed. They have lots of activities and since its a rehab center too, its not all old people. (MIL is only 55). They have flat screen TV's for each patient with Cable tv. I think she'll love that. I think she will like being able to tell all of her old stories to a whole new set of people. I think more people will visit her there than would visit her here. People don't just stop by here so much since they know we have kids and its not always convenient for drop in visitors. In the nursing home she can have visitors pretty much whenever she wants and since its in town it will be a lot more convenient for people to stop by there than to come all the way out here into the country. Do I sound like I'm trying to talk myself into this? I don't feel like there are any other options, I'm just really hoping and praying it works out well and that there aren't too many problems. Our little boy has lost so much weight. It scares me that he is not hungry. Its a side effect of his chemo. We have consultations and and MRI in Atlanta next week and then we are going to Legoland for his "Make-a-wish" trip after that. It probably won't be much longer and they will do surgery to repair his liver. It is very scary but its his best chance of beating this cancer. I have been feeding him supplements through his feeding tube. Hopefully its at least keeping him from losing any weight. This week I have a doctors appointment for myself. I have gained 30 lbs since my son got sick and I feel miserable about it. I'm taking anxiety meds and that might have something to do with it. I don't know if the Doctor can help me figure out anything but its worth a try. I'm just so scared of getting diabetes or high blood pressure or anything else that comes with being obese :( I really do want to be healthy but its so hard when I am taking care of so many other people, to also take care of myself. but the crazy thing is, how can I take care of everyone else if I am NOT taking care of myself? God is good though. I trust Him. God bless you all. SWMD
Placing a loved one in a nursing home is never easy, and the emotional toll is understandable. Play soccer skills world cup with them so they don't feel alienated. You are not alone in these feelings of guilt or doubt. It's great that you've considered both temporary and long-term options and are being honest with yourself about the possibilities.