Tired frustrated and exhausted no help | CAN

Tired frustrated exhausted no help

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Tired frustrated exhausted no help


Need advice on just getting by day to day. 

I am taking care of family and I am away from my husband.  Its been along time since Ive seen and I feel emotional spent from that and the day to day care of  a couple family members.

It is almost impossible to get away with out panic from them.  Even doing errands causes complete panic. I have not been able to get help from family members. 

They have time for there own personal things. (ex.movies, church, eating out, other family gatherings, just to name a few)  However are unable to sit with them for a couple hours a week for me to get away.  I get well its not my problem you will just have to figure it out.  I am there all day and night .  Its not that there is a lot to do.  I just cant leave or have any personal time.  When I do it becomes comlete caos. 

I miss my home and family dearly.  I dont think that anyone understands. 

Thanks for your help and listening.  It has been helpful to let it out. 

Anyone with any advice!  Feeling lonely and abandoned by family.  Have asked for help no one ever has time to lend a hand.  Can't even get personal time for my things.  They can't help too busy.  What would they do if I wasn't here?  They would have to pay someone for 24 hour 7 days a week care.  I bet if it hit there bank account they would see things in a whole new light.  




Tired Daughter
Tired Daughter's picture
I can relate

I am so sorry - I can hear the exhaustion and frustration in your words.

My life is much like yours - I have 24/7 care of my 88 year old mother with dementia and have for a few years.  I have 6 sisters who will not help and don't care that I am burning out physically and emotionally.

I wish I had words of wisdom to share but I don't.  But I do have a shoulder and an ear any time you need to talk.

What would anger me is that

What would anger me is that you can bet they’ll show up when she passes, cry copious crocodile tears, and make sure they know what’s in the will. Well, if you can, let that anger fuel you now. I know anger’s not supposed to be a healthy thing, but in some cases, you have to do what you have to do to make it through each eternal day. 


Sorry to hear about your

Sorry to hear about your situation.  I pray that one of your family members will reach out and try to help you.  Sometimes it may take something happening to another family member serious to realize what you are going thru and dealing with.

I know how you feel. I am in
I know how you feel. I am in the same situation. Promises of helping and we would share the load and work together and all of a sudden I am doing it by myself and those that promised to help are judging me saying I need to do more or do this better, soothe yard, help her exercise, take her to the park, water the plants every day and deep clean because that is what grandma wants but they won't do it but tell me that I need to do it.
barjan's picture
No help, anxiety, depression, hopelessness

<p><sup>I am feeling all of the above. &nbsp;I wake up in&nbsp;the morning feeling panic but it gets better after a while but&nbsp;returns in the evening. &nbsp;Husband's family, brothers and adult children, do not offer any&nbsp;help or even call. &nbsp;My children want me to leave but I can't bring myself to do that. &nbsp;If I do, my husband will be in a facility. I have been told I am overscrupulous.&nbsp;&nbsp;Never been a happy&nbsp;&nbsp;marriage and now I am trapped. &nbsp;My husband takes his frustration and grief about his condition out&nbsp;on me in passive aggressive ways. &nbsp;I can't do enough for him and&nbsp;nothing I do is acknowledged or good enough. &nbsp;Constant criticism and rejection.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Can't bear the way I feel and the&nbsp;conflict</sup></p>

Feeling Less Alone Already

Wow!  Just reading the comments makes me feel less alone with this problem.  Especially the part about other family members who are not helping.  It seems there is always one family member who gets all the responsibility dumped onto them.  I thought my family were the only weird ones, not helping out.  But it seems that lots of people are going through terrible situations.  Glad I found this group!  I'm not alone in this, not at all!!!!  Thanks to everyone for sharing.

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