Lee | Caregiver Action Network


Lee Evans
San Antonio
Caregiver Relationship: 
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Primary Illness: 

My name is Lee. In April, 2001 my mother Jean, who was 91 years old then broke her hip. Although my mom was a retired registered nurse, she refused to go to the hospital to get the hip repaired. She insisted that it would heal. Her doctor was reluctant to force the issue and I felt that with such a mind-set, she might not survive the operation. Over the next months, I began to realize that my mother had many mental health issues also, and had probably had them all her life. She fought rehabilitation and refused to learn to transfer into a wheelchair or use the bedside potty. I empty bedpans all day long because she had already been incontinent before she broke the hip. She never lets me sleep for more than a couple of hours before she calls me for trivial things. She used to constantly talk against me to her friend on the phone, telling her that I wasn't giving her enough food and companionship. Then she had a fight with the friend and they don't talk any more. Mom won't get a hearing aid or an amplified phone. Now she refuses to sit up by herself, uses a whining tone of voice all the time and is going blind from cataracts but refuses to go to the eye doctor. I fall asleep in chairs. I can't go anywhere. I pay a lady to come in three days a week for a few hours to give Mom a bed bath and change the linens while I go do the grocery shopping and buy cat food for our multiple cat family. I also work on line in a private chat room giving advice on relationships. It brings in some much needed money but Mom constantly interupts me. She has no respect for what I do or who I am even though I am trying to help her have some quality life and live to be 100 if possible.

Wish List: 
I would love to have over-night help. Mom fired the only woman who was willing to do this because she kept falling asleep when there was nothing to help Mom with. It's very difficult to fine overnight sitters who are willing to empty bedpans. We desperately need the government to help out with sitters/nursing care for home bound people. I have to pay very high prices per hour to be able to go to the store, or my own appointment with an eye doctor or dentist. I wish I could get a full 8 hours sleep. I'm desperate for sleep.