R S | Caregiver Action Network


R S Targum
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I am Sherry,a 60 year old female caring for my almost 92 year old mother,Bertie. When we moved into a house together four years ago, I did not anticipate how difficult it would be to watch a formerly active, bright lady deteriorate into someone who 'needs' more attention by the day.
With hearing/sight/comprehension difficulties, I am finding myself with no time to have a life of my own and scared that I might run out of 'fun' time as the years go past me. She does not want a 'stranger' in the house and that means I do not go out for more than a few hours at a time unless I take her with me and that is difficult because she tires easily even when I'm the one pushing the wheechair.
I used to be quite active in my professional organization and have had to curtail that activity since I can no long travel overnight. Once a year I have managed to attend my National Convention because my (out of town) brothers will stay with mom for that week. They do not visit at other times and do not call on a regular basis either, which annoys me.
My support comes from girlfriends (not in my town) who 'listen' to me via email and Instant Messenger (thank goodness for computer science!). When my birthday came around (the 60th),the four friends came to stay with me in my house so that I could have some sort of celebration.
Mom may be around longer than I ever expected and although I am grateful, I am also miserable because I want to live my life too. Even when I do get to be away from her, she is constantly on my mind since no one 'cares' for her like I do.
I am sure I am not alone with these feelings, but it certainly helps to 'vent' to others.

Wish List: 
1. A trustworthy "mom sitter" who mom likes and would care for my cats too. 2. More adult day care centers for non-Alzheimer clients. 3. Time for me would be nice.