Dorothy

My name is Dorothy and my Mothers name is Mary, known by the medical community as "Ms. Mary". I became primary caregiver for my Mom, diagnosed with Dementia, in 1999, I was 42 years old, my Mom was 80. My story is a little different because she died, January 19, 2013; at home, alone with me, per my request to God for the past 14 years. When I relocated and assumed the position of primary caregiver, I had no real concept of what that meant, or the changes my life would take. Eventually, I researched this illness, it's progression and different stages, and with understanding, sadness, and then acceptance. While there may be lots of info about this illness, nothing can prepare you for how very difficult, both emotional and physical this position is; also how rewarding. I loved to make her laugh and she thought I was a real comedian, but it was another way of coping in an impossible situation, laughter always makes things better. I never received income from any source to help me in my life as a caregiver. My advice to other caregivers who are in it for the long-haul as I was, is to start planning for your life after this part of their journey is over. I have to start my life over with nothing but our home. I have to figure out how to live now, what to do. Having not been in the work force for 14 years, it's very difficult, dealing with the grief, missing her so much, praying that my body heals from all the aches and pains that I wasn't aware of, until after I stopped using those muscles. My faith and trust in God is all that I have to move forward, into the unknown. The medical community is so amazed at the level of care that I provided to my Mom; to God be the glory for all of it; never any breakdown, beautiful skin, and when she could no longer speak, she sure smiled a lot. I'm so grateful to have been chosen as her caregiver. God bless all of you who are there for caregivers like myself.