Jen

My name is Jen and I've been caring for my mother, Julie, for close to six years. I am currently 45 and my mother is 72. My mother has dementia which has been coming on gradually for many years, but in October 2008 it became clear that she shouldn't be living on her own any longer. I left a job and university studies in Anchorage, AK to return to Utah. We moved her out of her apartment and into one that we could both call home. She had begun hoarding, and the initial clean-out of her small apartment yielded 45+ boxes to Deseret Industries and 75+ garbage bags to the dumpster. I have since pared down even more, and cleaned out a storage unit, giving most of the contents away. I recently finished cleaning out 10 boxes of pictures which resulted in 3 boxes of usable family history. The first three years of our living together, she was ok staying at home by herself while I went to work and school. By the end of that third year, it was clear that she shouldn't be home alone. She had also begun having seizures (still unexplained). So, I decided that I would focus on my graduate degree and financially positioning myself to be able to live on her retirement, which is quite generous and deserved after 34 years of faithful service. Mom is currently on hospice which provides amazing benefits (though not financial). I have been very blessed by my older brother's family, who help with respite, and very supportive younger brother, aunt, and uncle who universally agree on Mom's care. We have no bickering, fighting, grudges, jealousy, etc in our family. I know that is rare, and I'm thankful every moment that it is part of our story.