I feel trapped | Caregiver Action Network

I feel trapped

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I feel trapped

I have developed depression. I'm my husbands caretaker and we have been together for 10 years just about. I work full time and I'm going to school. I'm trying to not be resentful and it's so hard. I have no life, I have no days off and I cannot express it. I have no friends or family. My mom doesn't like my husband so I can't even vent to her about him if I was able. I have a lot of years ahead of me, and so far my bedridden husband does also so this is going to be my life for God knows how long. My job is extremely demanding so I'm exhausted when I get home. The last thing I look forward to is cooking, cleaning, and taking care of him and my dog. It's day in day out the same thing and I'm tired. We can't have sex so it's an all around disappointing life I'm living where I see no end. I hate to say this but I wish I could be single and live by myself with my dog. Just the 2 of us and be able to relax, but it will never happen. I hate my life and it will be this way for years in the future. 

I understand how you feel

My wife received her diagnosis about four years ago, just a couple of months after I started a life changing job. Immediately I felt like I could not focus on my new career as her illness took center stage in our life. I have dealt with similar situations and feelings as you have.   

Lifee is still tough for us even after four years, I developed worsening anxiety ans depression a little before her diagnosis due to a built of of years of worsening health concerns.   

I don't have all the answers, but will tell you there is still a good life to live. I would encourage you to do two things. First, check with your employer about their Employee Assistance Program, it will likely offer a number of sessions of free counseling, mine offers six per issue, I would be happy to discuss that further. Secondly, find ways to make your life simpler and easier. I know that sounds loaded, but simple things like meal planning, shopping through pickup/delivery, and making a chore planning chart. All these things have helped on varying levels.

It takes trial & error and time but if you love your spouse, it is worth the effort.



Ed B
I hope things have gotten

I hope things have gotten better for you. My wife had a brain tumor and needs constant care. I am always exhausted from dealing with her. I understand that dealing with these kinds of situations is very difficult.  

Hi, I'm not sure I you're still on this chat, I just signed up

Hi m not sure if you're still on this chat, I just signed up. I also am caregiver to my husband, I understand the stress you are under & the feelings you expressed. If you would like to chat I'd love someone to talk to also

I just found this site. I am
I just found this site. I am overwhelmed with my husband's health that deteriorated significantly last month with heart failure and now kidney and colon cancer. He will be having surgery soon and I just don't know how to handle it. When he was in the hospital for 9 days I barely got any info about what was going on and was extremely frustrated. I am afraid the same thing will happen again. I feel so lost and sad so much of the time and so much is on my plate yet I feel my husband does not care what I am feeling or how I am coping yet I offer him tons of support.