New to CAN

I linked to CAN through an article on "Focus on the Family, which was suggested through a suicide intervention contact." I am 46 and the only caregiver for my Mother who is physically disabled and incontinent. Last year I started a program to complete a degree in elementary education, hoping to combine it with my incomplete education credits started 28 years ago in dance, music, and theatre arts. My hope was to use it all in Ministry, but currently my Faith is deeply challenged, and I don't know what to think about life anymore.

I was laid off from my executive position last August and have not found full-time employment that will fit in with all of my obligations. Financial hardship is another deeply depressing factor. My Mother is 70 years young (she doesn't see it that way) and has given up, leaving me to deal with anything and everything. I have been feeling depressed and suicidal, so I don't know what help will be found here, but I took the advice of a friend and psychologist who suggested this may be a good support group. I was also reminded that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but none if it seems temporary to me right now.  My Mother needs more help than I can give her right now, but with financial limitations, as well as the obstacles my Mother puts up herself, I don't know where to start.