Hard to cope with what happened to my life

I'll try to abbreviate the sob story that got me into this...

The real start I can trace back decades but suffice the last 10-15 years has reduced me to what I am now. Everything seemed to happen all at once even though I can hardly call a couple of years sudden. My Dad had a kidney disease and was on Dialysis and shortly after my only sibling developed a rapid cancer that took him in a year and sadly, his wife and family did not prepare for the eventuality. I quickly was in a situation of trying to help with my Dad and then my brother while living 300 miles away so it wasn't long before my family and job suffered and then even friendships as I needed then unburdening myself. As I said, in just two years...I held my brother as he died in Hospice and then had to make all arrangements while my own family stayed home (avoided) and, as I was leading the first overseas venture for my company the same week while explaining to my almost senile Dad many times over his son had died (yeah, Mom quit coping about then) was when things really started piling up. A few months passed when I was called once more that my Dad would pass soon from kidney failure...and again Mom couldn't/wouldn't cope and I fed morphine etc all week until the end and once again I had my hands own my family, telling him it's ok as he drew his last. Yep, that sucked hard but better yet the funeral home sent a very old man (easily 70+) and a small, young lady so to top that day I got to help put my Dad in a body bag and carry him out since the gurney wouldn't fit in the hallways. Once again fast forward a ways and divorced, family...job...home and pretty much the last friends I had all gone now but my Mom was still getting me to help her cope and of course bills, always bills. 

Over the last 10 years now (Mom is turning 96) I had to relocate here because I can't afford two homes,   I got a job with the city, paid off her home and took over all bills as I did not know she had burned all of their retirement (on the verge of losing the house). Two years ago I had to leave my job (retired at 62 so...no full benefits or SSI for me).

So...the point. Through all the garbage I took upon myself for the sake of family I now live in total isolation except for this 96 year old that step by step used me at every turn (My fault, I let her but in my defense I was very distracted) to have a nice comfortable life with her friends, no bills...no worries at all in fact because I kept saying it can't last much longer can it???  I said I'm isolated now and it took a long time to realize it's from shame and humiliation that I have allowed this...it also didn't hurt to learn that a woman taking care of her mom is looked at much differently than a man, kind on Mother Theresa vs Norman Bates. It's been a no-win from the start and I at my age am facing a very terrible end for never looking up and just doing what I promised my Dad I would do when he died. All I can say is you have just met the stupidest, blindest man in the world.