<p>I'm 65 and my mom just turned 88. She has just become a patient through a local hospice. Some days or ok and others are sad maddening and frightening for both of us. I have no real siblings. I'm her only child. My father is dead and I have 1 cousin locally and other scattered relatives in my state and in the country. Sometimes I just want to walk away but I know that is the fear talking cause I can not do that. I just do not know how much I can leave her by herself, how much can I go and run errands without a sitter and just some general information. I'm learning more than I was aware 2 years ago so I guess this is just one of those situations where you can NOT prepare but you just go through.</p>
Hi, I'm new to this forum. I am 46, the only girl of my mother's 3 children (and the baby)
My mother, my best friend...literally have that tattooed on me, was NEVER sick. She had open heart surgery in 2019 and suffered a stroke. She now is disabled and I am her caregiver. The doctors asked my brothers and I to consider taking her off the vent when this first happened. Needless to say, we did not. My mom is fully cognizant but doesn't move her left side. She is wheelchair bound, had dysphasia that requires puréed foods and thickened liquids. I prepare all of that, as well as doctors and therapists. We have a completely codependent relationship and she literally will not make one decision without me. I am a veteran teacher but have not worked since the day she went in the hospital over 2 years ago. I live with her but go to my house (down the block) when I have another caregiver available. my entire life is my mother. I don't how to transition back to Me she is anxious and fearful the minute I'm not in her sight. I have a therapist working with her but I'm thinking I MAY BE THE PROBLEM. I just don't know how to detach. I lost my father, and mother-in-law and Can't lose her too. I just don't know how this daily cycle will change. My husband has the patience of a saint ( I took care of his mom, so he does understand) but we have no life. Even when I get to see him every other weekend, im still worrying and preparing for my next day with mommy. IM JUST LOST