Hello, I'm not a caregiver for brother, I'm more of a caregiver for my sister in law. They are 79 and 75 respectively. I am his youngest sister, 71. They only have one daughter, who is in a group home with mental disabilities. I have somehow become their only link to the outside world. My parents are gone, and so are my sister in law's. I live 30 miles away with my husband. My brother was diagnosed with mid-level dementia last May. Since then I have tried to be there for them with their doctor appts., (Cleveland Clinic geriatrician comes to their house. I have tried to visit at least once a week, bringing their favorite foods, and amusing games and things for my brother to engage. He can carry on a conversation for a short while, but he does not initiate anything. I can see my sister in law, Jen, falling apart. She has always been a very rigid, scheduled person, has always been on medication, she's always been emotionally fragile. She says she will never put him in a home. Here's part of the problem. She will not ask for help, she thinks anyone who comes into her home is going to steal from them. She says she is taking good care of him. I've hooked her up with people to talk to, she won't. I've given her numbers to call, she won't. I said I would go to Alzheimer's meetings with her, she says no. She knows they can't help her. What do you do? She loses her temper with him for every little thing he does wrong, she puts on the political news channel all day long and he sits and stares. He won't leave the house. She goes shopping and to an art class once a week, I'm afraid he will walk away someday. She belittles him, ( I know it can't be easy, I know it's a hell for her) but I don't think he deserves to be sworn at because he flushed the toilet after she put in toilet cleaner, and therefore wasted it!! I was on the phone with her when this happened and I was stunned at her language she used with him. I try to help, what else can I do if she won't accept any?? I feel for her, I feel more for my incapacitated brother.
