A Day of Care for Caregivers at Elle Pea Acres
A Day of Care for Caregivers at Elle Pea Acres
What an August weekend of flowers and conversation revealed about the support family caregivers need.
After a day at Elle Pea Acres, one participant wrote that they could finally recognize themselves as a caregiver. They had hesitated to use the word, worried that other people had it harder. Spending time with fellow caregivers helped them feel that their own experience mattered.
“It meant a tremendous amount to me. I do not refer to myself as a “caregiver” to others, and it felt a little hard for me to do, maybe due to imposter syndrome or not feeling like I have it “as bad” as others do. But being able to recognize myself as a caregiver through my experience at the event was much more helpful than I anticipated – I did really feel less alone and like my experiences are important. And having a day away from my caregiving responsibilities also helped me “fill my cup” so that I can return to my usual caregiving as a version of myself that is a little more patient and empathetic.”
That reflection captures what Caregiver Action Network hoped to make possible when we sponsored the Family Caregiver U Pick Flowers & Bouquet Making Event on Aug. 22 and 23 in Groton, New York. Caregivers could choose a day to pick their own flowers, enjoy a catered lunch and learn to make a bouquet, surrounded by people who understood the responsibilities waiting at home.
As November’s National Family Caregivers Month approaches, their responses offer a timely reminder of what support can look like when it reaches people in their own communities. In a follow-up survey, 10 of 12 caregivers reported less stress after the event. Every person who answered rated their likelihood of recommending an event like this at 9 or 10 out of 10.
Room to relax and people who understand
The flower fields gave caregivers something to do with their hands and time to spend on themselves. Eleven of the 12 survey participants chose flower picking or arranging as one of the most valuable parts of the day. Ten chose being outdoors, and nine each chose connecting with other caregivers and feeling recognized or appreciated.
For one military or veteran caregiver, those conversations also opened doors to support nearby. Asked what they would want funders and partners to understand, they wrote:
“The value of an in-person, community-based event like this really can’t be replicated in other formats. I learned so much about different local resources and programs through casual conversations with others – so many caregiving/veteran-serving resources aren’t publicized openly online, so it’s hard to be aware of them without events to connect folks. And there’s so much potential to form enduring connections at these events that have value beyond that single day – I’m now aware of others in the region/area that I can connect with. Also, having the chance to do something for me only is exactly what I’m advised to do by my support team (therapist and social worker) but it’s hard to find the time or plan something myself, so having this pre-arranged was so valuable.”
A conversation over lunch could become a useful local contact. A shared activity could make it easier to talk about something difficult. Caregivers had the chance to meet without having to organize the gathering themselves, a detail that one participant said made the experience especially valuable.
Making time away possible
Finding time for yourself can take work before the break even begins. One caregiver described the joy of getting away while also explaining that they had to pay $30 an hour for someone to care for their husband. Another said being out of town helped them feel less guilty about stepping away from their responsibilities.
Those experiences matter as we think about how to bring more opportunities like this to caregivers. Keeping an event free removes one expense. Helping people arrange care while they attend could open the door wider.
One participant put the need for that time in terms any family caregiver would recognize:
“People do not understand the responsibilities and stress of daily caregiving. It can be a 24/7 job. 7 days/wk, 365 days /year. Time away is extremely important for the caregiver, so they can re-group, re- energize, and re-focus on themselves to be able to be strong for the family member. Many times we are feeling isolated, and frustrated carrying the weight of that heavy backpack on our shoulders. If there could be more outreach, that would be such a wonderful help!”
A community that showed up for caregivers
Elle Pea Acres owners Kiersten Downs and Thomas Martineau welcomed caregivers to their farm, while Caitlin Mathes guided the bouquet making. CAN’s Chance Browning and Allison Borthwick joined the gathering, connecting with caregivers and capturing stories that could help others recognize themselves in someone else’s experience.
Nomo Smart Care contributed its home monitoring and medical alert devices to participating caregivers’ gift bags. Groton Public Library and Healing Rein Farm also contributed giveaways, and Elle Pea Acres offered each participant a farm T-shirt. Their contributions helped bring this day of caregiver support to life.
The caregivers’ own words give the clearest picture of what the day meant. “It truly felt medicinal,” one wrote. “I felt refreshed and just loved!!!” Another described the chance to relax and step away from constant stress as giving them renewed strength to continue.
Two participants suggested starting future gatherings with brief introductions, so caregivers could find others facing similar situations. That is an idea worth carrying forward: make it easy for people to arrive, meet and begin a conversation that might continue after the bouquets go home.
Another caregiver wrote:
“it meant that our role in the lives of those we care for matters and deserves recognition. it meant that we deserve relaxation & joy.”
For caregivers looking for support between moments like these, CAN’s National Caregiver Help Desk offers a place to start. Call 855-227-3640 or visit caregiveraction.org to connect with help and resources.
More from the weekend
See the flowers, hear the reflections and meet the partners who helped bring the gathering to life.
In caregivers’ own words
In their feedback, participants described how rare and welcome a day away could be.
“The benefits received thanks to the contributions in funding, contributions and effort are impossible to quantify. As a caregiver, just being able to totally relax and escape the almost constant stress of caregiving has given me a renew strength to continue.”
“Just how outstanding every person was!!! Excellent in every way! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Highlight of my very difficult year!!!”
“A great deal. I almost never get time away.”
All caregiver quotations come from anonymous responses to the event’s follow-up survey.
About the survey
Twelve caregivers answered the survey in September after the August event. They were asked to remember their stress before attending and describe it afterward. The results reflect those 12 people’s experiences; they do not tell us how every attendee felt or how long any changes lasted. In the charts, ratings are shown as people answered them. The original descriptions of the numbered ratings were not included in the responses shared with CAN.
