Erin Bonitto of Buddies Forever Dementia Communication Coaching discusses the challenges of communicating with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s and how our style of communication may contribute to our loved one becoming agitated or anxious.
She says that communication with a loved one with Alzheimer’s is about more than stepping into their reality. It’s also about fully validating their emotion. When you go along with what your loved one believes—for example, that their husband is coming home soon, even though he passed away years ago—you are not lying to them. You are stepping into their truth.
Difficulty creating new memories impacts our communication with the person:
- Even if we have recently interacted with the person, this does not guarantee that the person has retained our interaction or shared information.
- The person is not trying to be difficult.
- Rather, the person is operating with a different set of information.
The words “behavior” & “inappropriate behavior” are problematic:
- All behavior is communication.
- The person is using their remaining abilities to tell us something.
- If we say, “Oh, he always does that,” then this means we always are missing something.
Our everyday communication patterns do not work for the person with Alzheimer’s or other cognitive differences:
Even if we communicate in a pleasant or professional way, our communication style may trigger challenging behavioral symptoms and stressful interactions.
How a caregiver triggered an escalation in behavior from their loved one without meaning to:
Continue to the next Lessons to watch some “before and after” examples of how to better and more successfully communicate with your loved one.